I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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