Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
