Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
