Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
