:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
soo... how was my night?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
