Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
