Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize