I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
