I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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