god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
