do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
