It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
