I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
