The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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