He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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