hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
