meet me or not, i'm out of control
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i think my cat just said my name.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
