im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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