Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
