It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
