batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
