you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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