i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Randomize
