I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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