what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
whose parrot is this?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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