So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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