nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
