So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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