I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
