I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
