i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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