he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
