shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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