Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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