make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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