I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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