Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
