I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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