a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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