If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's just like the Real World with babies
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
