she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
