The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
