I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
