How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
