Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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