my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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