What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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