She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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