It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
