i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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